The Greatest Commandment… and a Love I Never Knew

For so many years, I believed that as a Christian—especially one who claims to love the Lord—my highest calling was to obey this command from Jesus:

“Jesus said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.'”
— Matthew 22:37 NKJV

This was, after all, the greatest and first commandment.
But quietly, deep within my heart, I wrestled with a question I didn’t dare speak aloud:
If God loves me unconditionally… why does He ask of me something I can never truly give?

I don’t even know how to love myself.
I struggle to love my parents with all my heart—how could I possibly love God that way?
And if I can’t even do that, how could I ever love others?

Then one day, I looked more closely at the full passage.
Matthew 22:34 tells us this question was never a sincere one.
It was a test, a trap—posed by a Pharisee, a teacher of the law.
He wasn’t seeking truth. He wanted to challenge Jesus.

So Jesus answered, not to demand something from a Gentile like me,
but to reveal something to those who prided themselves on law,
to show those who believed their holiness came from rules, rituals, and knowledge—
that even the greatest commandment, the purest law, was still beyond human grasp.

Because love, the kind that God desires, is divine.
And we are not divine.

The Scriptures say:
¹⁰ This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. 1 John 4:10 NLT

It’s not about what we can do for God,
but what God has already done for us.
Even the thought that we could love Him first is born out of pride.
And if you feel like God is demanding something of you—
Perhaps what He really wants is for you to receive something instead:
His love. His grace. His Son.

Because Jesus is the only one who has ever truly loved with all His heart, all His soul, and all His strength.

And what about the second commandment?
“Love your neighbor as yourself.”
Even that feels impossible.
How do I love others, when I barely know how to love me?
Does not loving myself mean I’m free from loving others?

But Jesus wasn’t giving that command as a rule to weigh us down—
He was showing the Pharisees the true heart of the law: love.
Not rules. Not pride. Not religious perfection.
The law can’t teach love. The law can’t make hearts tender.
Only love can do that.

And so we return to this beautiful truth:

We love Him because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19

It all begins with His love.

He loved me before the world was even born—
Before time began, His love had already chosen me.
He pours it out on me, day after day.
It fills every empty corner, heals every wound, softens every scar.

And one day… this love, growing quietly within me, will bear fruit.
I will begin to love—not because I must, but because I can.
Because His love overflows.

And when it does, I will love others.
Not out of duty, but out of joy.
I will bless others with the love that once saved me.